'I wish I could know what I want'

Recently, I keep asking myself, what is life?

Life always doesn't go the way ppl wish. I'm simple but I start giving myself complicated situations. I'm in the dilemma of most ppl face such as working for a job I don't really like and leading a dull working life.

I work for the sake of money. With the money, I can go travelling, buying a house which will then provide sense of belonging, going for facial and beauty products with the list going on.

But life like this is meaning less, right? I force myself to love my job & manager and stay in the company till I get the bonus. I struggle if I should book the tour and package while I worry if my leave is disapproved.

Negative thoughts are hitting me, again... Tell me, why life cannot go the way we want? However, I also lost my way... I cant figure out what's the life I want... I wish I could know what I want.......

'I wish I could know what I want' - good for thoughts?